Round Two.....

Ok, so today I began eating like a good, healthy individual again. I think I have remained within that 1,000 to 1,200 calorie limit. I didn't workout yet, but one thing at a time! Jeeze, I just got back to eating healthy. Let me shave off about 5 or 10 pounds before I kill myself working out. As for the eating, I admit I have enjoyed my indulgences of late. Today I did feel a bit deprived and hungry, but I know that it is just my mind wanting me to snack. My body isn't hungry. Hell, I just finished off a great dinner of baked chicken, steamed veggies, and brown rice. So why do I feel hungry? Because my mind hates me. It thinks I need to be stuffing my face 24-7 to feel comfortable. I have to break this train of thought. I need to feel full and satiated after a good meal. I hope to feel better tomorrow, and by the end of the week I should be working out again. I hope. Here's to losing those stubborn 22 pounds....again...ugh...

And now, the let down.....

Failure. It is not a very nice thought. That is why I refuse to see this as a failure. True, I have strayed from my healthy plan. True, I have regained most of what I lost. However, I see it as a minor set back, not a failure. To deem it a failure means I have given up, which I have not. I just became weak minded and I let the stress of recent weeks take a toll on me. I have been somewhat depressed as of late, and all I want to do is nap and eat. Not healthy. I need to get my life back on track. Things are starting to even out and I can see through the stress to the other side. I have to keep pushing and get to that other side! The weather is nicer, the days getting longer, more time for me to workout and eat right. I must remain positive. I will do this. I am not a failure, but if I get down and give up, then fail, I have. Onward. Upward. Thinner. Healthier. Yeah.

Making progress.....

I have been such a shitty blogger as of late! I moved recently and failed to keep track of my battle on a daily basis. Well, I am back again. I did well, stress works wonders on a body. Ha. Seriously, though, I dropped 3 pounds during the move. I am now down to 246! I have lost 22 pounds! The other day, I got into a pair of jeans I haven't been able to wear in quite some time. I tried to wear them about 2 months ago, and they were so tight they literally bruised my abdomen. Now they fit just fine. I am so proud! I gained a few pounds back this past weekend due to my lovely time of the month, but it will be gone again in no time. Just water weight. Now, I made it to 20 pounds; let's keep trucking until I get to the 40 mark! Come on, let's go.....

What the....really?

I made an astounding discovery last night! Apparently, due to my healthy eating and new mind set, my body physically rejects pizza. Seriously! I decided to indulge last night and have a few slices of pizza. My dad was kind enough to give me a pizza he bought that he thought I may enjoy. Dads don't care about calories; they love to feed their kids good food. :) Anywho, I thought, "Well, I have been so good for so long, surely some pizza wouldn't hurt me." Was I wrong about that one. After I ate it, I felt kinda sick and bloated. I used to feel satisfied and happy when I had pizza. Now I felt yucky. The grease and cheese and pepperoni all combined in my stomach to make me feel horrible! How did I ever pig out on this stuff? Now it is unfathomable! I mean, seriously, I felt like shit! I still feel like shit! My body hates me at the moment. My stomach has felt messed up all morning. I guess all these years I saw pizza as my ally, my friend. Now I see that I was wrong, pizza is not good to my body. Maybe one slice is OK, but anything more and my body starts hating me! I don't blame it, either. Being able to step back and see my supposed "favorite" foods from a new perspective is kinda cool. It helps to understand how they really make me feel, instead of fooling myself into thinking I need them or they fulfill me. I can honestly say it now: I don't need pizza. I don't even think I like it half as much as I have always thought. I am getting to know my body a little better each day! Also, I am now down 18 pounds to 250! Awesomeness!

Away they go.....

Holy horse shit, Batman! I am down yet another pound! I weighed today and I am now 251! That is 17 pounds total so far. Not too shabby! I got quite a workout today. I cleaned out a storage building. You never know just how much shit you have until you go through storage. Hell, I found a favorite book that has been MIA since around 1990! Yup...I had A LOT of shit! Boxes and more boxes. I threw a lot of it away. It felt very liberating, freeing myself from the past! (now if I could just free myself from this back pain. ugh!) I may have overdone it today, but at least it was exercise! I am only 3 pounds from my first goal, which is to drop 20 pounds. I can feel it! I am almost there! It seemed like it would take forever, but I stuck with it and now I am on that proverbial "down slope"! What a great feeling! I am proud! If I can drop 20, then maybe I can find the strength and motivation to keep going until I drop 40, then 60, then 80, and maybe finally a total of 100 pounds, which is what I want to lose. I can do this! I WILL do this! I'm going to drop this weight, and I am taking you with me! Let's go! On to the next post!

Keeping on....

Awesome start to my day: I got on that scale and had lost yet another pound! That makes 16 so far! Someone asked me how much I weigh. Well, why not just lay it all out there? I am no longer ashamed because I am doing something to improve! I started at 268lbs and now I am down to 252lbs. I have quite a way to go, but I am determined to make it! On a side note, I wish I had the metabolism of a man. I have been losing weight, but with work and discipline. Since the start of the year I have dropped 16 pounds. My husband, without really trying, has dropped about 46 pounds in pretty much no time at all. I was very proud, and I love my hubby more than anything; but I was also like "WTF?" when he told me! Men don't have to try, I swear! I so much as think of junk food and I gain weight! He eats whatever and slims down. Go figure. I want a man's metabolism, dammit! Until medical science makes that possible, it is healthy food and exercise for me. Keep up the good work, y'all. See you in the next entry!

I'm Back!

Good grief! I thought I would never make it back! I was very sick for quite a while. I haven't worked out in about 2 weeks. I miss it! I plan to try to work out today. On the positive side, I maintained my healthy eating even though I was ill, and I am now down 15 pounds! Can you say awesome? I know that you can! I am proud of myself. Usually when I am sick, I see it as an opportunity to baby myself and indulge. Not this time. I kept to the healthy eating plan and my body actually seemed to heal a lot quicker than it has in the past. I did not indulge at all. OK, well...once. I had some mac-n-cheese. I only had a small amount, though. I think there is a rule somewhere that if you are sick, you have to have mac-n-cheese at least once! It was damn good, too! Other than that, I did well and impressed myself. Now, since I am all better, I need to get back to the workout. Imagine: if I lost about 6 pounds without exercise, think what I can do when I start up again! Sorry I was away so long. I am back now, so let's continue our journey! Until tomorrow...