Going...going.......

I was 252 this morning. Hoping that doesn't increase! I feel better, and I am only about 5 pounds away from where I was before my slip up. Awesome! I still haven't worked out, but I feel ready, so time willing I will do it this weekend! I am contemplating doing the unthinkable : I may try to go clothes shopping. Ugh! Never a favorite thing to do! But now I feel a little more confident, so I am curious to see how I react to trying on clothes. Should prove interesting. We shall see....

Back in the saddle!

Well, I slept in today and dammit I liked it!!!! Lol! But seriously...I was good and had a healthy breakfast. I weighed myself and amazingly I am down 4 pounds since Sunday! I had gained back to about 260, and today I am 256. Nice! Also, my waist is down to the smallest yet, which is 42 inches. Not small, but better than the dreaded 50-something inches I started out at so long ago. I am slowly climbing back up to where I was last month: 22 pounds down and counting. My set back took me back to 260, but at least I didn't blow up all the way back to 268! That would be so depressing! Anywho, I am now back on track and feeling better each day. I want to work out today, but unfortunately I have other commitments and won't have time. Tomorrow, though; tomorrow I plan to do my first workout in weeks. Here's to hoping I don't need CPR when I am through! Until then....

Round Two.....

Ok, so today I began eating like a good, healthy individual again. I think I have remained within that 1,000 to 1,200 calorie limit. I didn't workout yet, but one thing at a time! Jeeze, I just got back to eating healthy. Let me shave off about 5 or 10 pounds before I kill myself working out. As for the eating, I admit I have enjoyed my indulgences of late. Today I did feel a bit deprived and hungry, but I know that it is just my mind wanting me to snack. My body isn't hungry. Hell, I just finished off a great dinner of baked chicken, steamed veggies, and brown rice. So why do I feel hungry? Because my mind hates me. It thinks I need to be stuffing my face 24-7 to feel comfortable. I have to break this train of thought. I need to feel full and satiated after a good meal. I hope to feel better tomorrow, and by the end of the week I should be working out again. I hope. Here's to losing those stubborn 22 pounds....again...ugh...

And now, the let down.....

Failure. It is not a very nice thought. That is why I refuse to see this as a failure. True, I have strayed from my healthy plan. True, I have regained most of what I lost. However, I see it as a minor set back, not a failure. To deem it a failure means I have given up, which I have not. I just became weak minded and I let the stress of recent weeks take a toll on me. I have been somewhat depressed as of late, and all I want to do is nap and eat. Not healthy. I need to get my life back on track. Things are starting to even out and I can see through the stress to the other side. I have to keep pushing and get to that other side! The weather is nicer, the days getting longer, more time for me to workout and eat right. I must remain positive. I will do this. I am not a failure, but if I get down and give up, then fail, I have. Onward. Upward. Thinner. Healthier. Yeah.

Making progress.....

I have been such a shitty blogger as of late! I moved recently and failed to keep track of my battle on a daily basis. Well, I am back again. I did well, stress works wonders on a body. Ha. Seriously, though, I dropped 3 pounds during the move. I am now down to 246! I have lost 22 pounds! The other day, I got into a pair of jeans I haven't been able to wear in quite some time. I tried to wear them about 2 months ago, and they were so tight they literally bruised my abdomen. Now they fit just fine. I am so proud! I gained a few pounds back this past weekend due to my lovely time of the month, but it will be gone again in no time. Just water weight. Now, I made it to 20 pounds; let's keep trucking until I get to the 40 mark! Come on, let's go.....

What the....really?

I made an astounding discovery last night! Apparently, due to my healthy eating and new mind set, my body physically rejects pizza. Seriously! I decided to indulge last night and have a few slices of pizza. My dad was kind enough to give me a pizza he bought that he thought I may enjoy. Dads don't care about calories; they love to feed their kids good food. :) Anywho, I thought, "Well, I have been so good for so long, surely some pizza wouldn't hurt me." Was I wrong about that one. After I ate it, I felt kinda sick and bloated. I used to feel satisfied and happy when I had pizza. Now I felt yucky. The grease and cheese and pepperoni all combined in my stomach to make me feel horrible! How did I ever pig out on this stuff? Now it is unfathomable! I mean, seriously, I felt like shit! I still feel like shit! My body hates me at the moment. My stomach has felt messed up all morning. I guess all these years I saw pizza as my ally, my friend. Now I see that I was wrong, pizza is not good to my body. Maybe one slice is OK, but anything more and my body starts hating me! I don't blame it, either. Being able to step back and see my supposed "favorite" foods from a new perspective is kinda cool. It helps to understand how they really make me feel, instead of fooling myself into thinking I need them or they fulfill me. I can honestly say it now: I don't need pizza. I don't even think I like it half as much as I have always thought. I am getting to know my body a little better each day! Also, I am now down 18 pounds to 250! Awesomeness!

Away they go.....

Holy horse shit, Batman! I am down yet another pound! I weighed today and I am now 251! That is 17 pounds total so far. Not too shabby! I got quite a workout today. I cleaned out a storage building. You never know just how much shit you have until you go through storage. Hell, I found a favorite book that has been MIA since around 1990! Yup...I had A LOT of shit! Boxes and more boxes. I threw a lot of it away. It felt very liberating, freeing myself from the past! (now if I could just free myself from this back pain. ugh!) I may have overdone it today, but at least it was exercise! I am only 3 pounds from my first goal, which is to drop 20 pounds. I can feel it! I am almost there! It seemed like it would take forever, but I stuck with it and now I am on that proverbial "down slope"! What a great feeling! I am proud! If I can drop 20, then maybe I can find the strength and motivation to keep going until I drop 40, then 60, then 80, and maybe finally a total of 100 pounds, which is what I want to lose. I can do this! I WILL do this! I'm going to drop this weight, and I am taking you with me! Let's go! On to the next post!