Bra Shopping Still Sucks......

Well, I went bra shopping today. Had to; my old faithfuls were not so faithful anymore. I hate shopping for bras. Nothing is a more blatant reminder of how much weight I've gained than trying to find a proper fitting bra. Looking in that fitting room mirror, I see the bulges, the overhang, etc. It is really depressing. All I have wanted for the last several years is to be able to buy the little, cute, lacy C cup bras. Instead, I am bound to the thick strapped, bland colored, giant cupped contraptions with 40 fish hooks in the back. Yes, I know there are pretty bras for bigger girls, but they cost a fortune. My esteem was really shaken tonight. I mean, I am going to keep working, keep losing weight; it is just totally depressing to see just how fat I have become over the years. I remember what it was like to buy the cute bras. I hate buying the freaking DD ones. Big boobs are truly overrated. I hope one day I can afford to have these damn things lifted and reduced so I can have my C cups back. I just really hate bra shopping right now. *sigh*

Givin' it all I got......

As a larger sized woman, I find I often have to modify my workout routines. I try to keep things low impact to save my knees, as I am undoubtedly carrying way too much weight to put my poor knees through the strain of supporting jumps and lunges. It must be done, for safety's sake, but I hate it. I want to go full force like the people in my videos. I want to lift my knees high, jump high, squat low, etc. I really hate that my weight holds me back. True, if I keep working I will lose weight and then I can start doing regular instead of modified moves. I just wish I could do it now. I don't feel I get the full benefit of the exercise if I have to do the easier version. Fatness sucks. In every way imaginable.  :(

A good day....

Went shopping today. My pantry and fridge are now filled with fruits, veggies, and vegan goodness. I am happy. My hubby is beginning to follow suit on the whole healthy eating thing. Finally! I love eating healthy foods. I feel better. It amuses me when people see my meals and say, "Are you on a diet?" I think, "No, I am eating like a normal person should." People are funny like that. My entire trip through the supermarket, I kept seeing all the junky, processed, unhealthy foods everywhere. We really are surrounded by shit. The sad thing is people suck this crap down by the boat loads. I wish the rest of the population could be enlightened. Oh well. I'm healthy. That is what matters. :)

Getting better....

I am finally feeling a bit balanced given this crazy work schedule. Loving my workouts, eating right, just improving daily. Trying to be less stressed. I will back on this blog full force very soon.

Hello 2012....

Yeah, I totally suck as a blogger these days. I am so busy with my lovely work schedule (6 days a week and holding) that i never seem to have time to blog. I am hoping things change soon and I can get back to this. I miss it. Until then, please don't forget me. :)

DAMMIT.....

This new work schedule is really killing me. I mean, the money is awesome but I am so f-ing tired! Strangely, my weight has plateaued for now, but I have lost several inches. WTF? How am I way smaller but have lost no more weight? I went down 2 entire sizes (got new work scrubs) and I haven't dropped a pound in a while! My body is so weird. Oh well. It is more about how you look and not what you weigh, anyhow. I will try to post again soon. Hopefully the new year will bring a more sane schedule.

Grrrrrr......

Please don't count me out. Still getting adjusted to the new work schedule. This 6 days a week thing is rough! I will be back soon!