THE END

Ok, so yeah...I am officially done with this blog. I have decided to move on over to tumblr. For any of you who want to follow me there, here is the link: my new tumblr blog

Thanks for reading thus far. I feel the new blog will be far  more interesting. :)

The end?

I am seriously thinking of ending this blog. I have grown fond of tumblr and the easiness of posting pictures and such on there. I very well may end this blog and begin a newer one on tumblr. I will keep you all posted. I plan to get a digital camera this coming weekend (FINALLY!) and I want to start posting progress photos. Anyway, just considering it right now. Nothing definite.

Hopeful....

Well, I put in for a full time job with a more organized schedule. I hope to hear something soon, then I can get back to this blog everyday. For now I am trying to reduce abdominal bloat. I eat healthy and vegan, but I always seem bloated. WTF? I am going to try to eat more fruit and veggies and less carbs. Maybe that will help. My stomach is almost flat, but not quite. Grrrrrr! This is frustrating! Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. :)

Bra Shopping Still Sucks......

Well, I went bra shopping today. Had to; my old faithfuls were not so faithful anymore. I hate shopping for bras. Nothing is a more blatant reminder of how much weight I've gained than trying to find a proper fitting bra. Looking in that fitting room mirror, I see the bulges, the overhang, etc. It is really depressing. All I have wanted for the last several years is to be able to buy the little, cute, lacy C cup bras. Instead, I am bound to the thick strapped, bland colored, giant cupped contraptions with 40 fish hooks in the back. Yes, I know there are pretty bras for bigger girls, but they cost a fortune. My esteem was really shaken tonight. I mean, I am going to keep working, keep losing weight; it is just totally depressing to see just how fat I have become over the years. I remember what it was like to buy the cute bras. I hate buying the freaking DD ones. Big boobs are truly overrated. I hope one day I can afford to have these damn things lifted and reduced so I can have my C cups back. I just really hate bra shopping right now. *sigh*

Givin' it all I got......

As a larger sized woman, I find I often have to modify my workout routines. I try to keep things low impact to save my knees, as I am undoubtedly carrying way too much weight to put my poor knees through the strain of supporting jumps and lunges. It must be done, for safety's sake, but I hate it. I want to go full force like the people in my videos. I want to lift my knees high, jump high, squat low, etc. I really hate that my weight holds me back. True, if I keep working I will lose weight and then I can start doing regular instead of modified moves. I just wish I could do it now. I don't feel I get the full benefit of the exercise if I have to do the easier version. Fatness sucks. In every way imaginable.  :(

A good day....

Went shopping today. My pantry and fridge are now filled with fruits, veggies, and vegan goodness. I am happy. My hubby is beginning to follow suit on the whole healthy eating thing. Finally! I love eating healthy foods. I feel better. It amuses me when people see my meals and say, "Are you on a diet?" I think, "No, I am eating like a normal person should." People are funny like that. My entire trip through the supermarket, I kept seeing all the junky, processed, unhealthy foods everywhere. We really are surrounded by shit. The sad thing is people suck this crap down by the boat loads. I wish the rest of the population could be enlightened. Oh well. I'm healthy. That is what matters. :)

Getting better....

I am finally feeling a bit balanced given this crazy work schedule. Loving my workouts, eating right, just improving daily. Trying to be less stressed. I will back on this blog full force very soon.

Hello 2012....

Yeah, I totally suck as a blogger these days. I am so busy with my lovely work schedule (6 days a week and holding) that i never seem to have time to blog. I am hoping things change soon and I can get back to this. I miss it. Until then, please don't forget me. :)

DAMMIT.....

This new work schedule is really killing me. I mean, the money is awesome but I am so f-ing tired! Strangely, my weight has plateaued for now, but I have lost several inches. WTF? How am I way smaller but have lost no more weight? I went down 2 entire sizes (got new work scrubs) and I haven't dropped a pound in a while! My body is so weird. Oh well. It is more about how you look and not what you weigh, anyhow. I will try to post again soon. Hopefully the new year will bring a more sane schedule.

Grrrrrr......

Please don't count me out. Still getting adjusted to the new work schedule. This 6 days a week thing is rough! I will be back soon!

MIA....

Sorry I have been absent lately. My work schedule is killing me! Still at it with the Turbo Fire. Still eating well. Just need a few days to get adjusted to working 6 DAYS A WEEK. Ugh, what was I thinking? Oh well. The money will be great.

Week 2 is off with a bang....

Today marks the beginning of week two of Turbo Fire. I am now down to 257 and my measurements are looking promising! I will post them at the end of this entry. Today's workout was intense but fun; felt more like dancing than exercise. I love it. Today is my only day off all week, so I plan to enjoy it. I wish Didge (won't post her real name for privacy reasons) was here. I miss her. Oh well. That is what emails are for, right? Anyway, I am doing well. I am very impressed with myself; I have not wavered, I have not given up or gotten lazy. I am going to see this through. I am going to get fit and be healthy again. I want this more than anything. :)

Ok, measurements. Here we go:

                       Start:                                         Current:
Weight:           263lbs                                         257lbs

Waist:              48in                                              40in

Hips:                50in                                              48in

Chest:              41in                                              39in

Biceps:             13in                                              13.5in

Thighs:              30in                                              29in

Body Fat:           39%                                               27%

End of week 1....

Today was the final day of week one of Turbo Fire. I am currently having an issue trying to adjust my calories. I am thinking I need to stay around 2000 daily, but the calorie counter on the Beach Body site says 1600. I think that is just too low. My coach says to take in more, so I am going to go with that for now! I am feeling healthier every day. I am so ready for week two! Bring it!

Pushing it.....

Day 6 is off to a good start. Healthy breakfast, intense workout, feeling good. I am still trying to adjust my eating schedule to coincide with my work schedule. Especially now that I will be working 6 days a week every week. Great for the bank account, difficult on the schedule. Oh well.  I will manage. I am determined to make this work.

Wow. I feel like......wow.......

Here I am on day 5 of my Turbo Fire journey. I am now down 6, count 'em, 6 pounds! Already! I just finished a 55 minute intense cardio workout. I am so covered in sweat, and I can't remember the last time I was actually this sweaty. I feel amazing! I made it through the longest cardio workout I have done thus far! Yes, it was a bit of a struggle, but I DID IT! Whew! I am eating well, exercising, and I feel so damn good right now. I have finally gotten a grasp on the whole food addiction thing. I no longer feel anchored to my appetite. Food is fuel, and nothing more. It should not be a source of pleasure. If I want pleasure, I will read a book or see a movie, or attack my husband. (I'll leave the rest to the imagination) Anyway, food is for fueling my body so it can function properly. True, it does taste good and that does activate the pleasure sensors in my brain....but I don't depend on food for my happiness any longer. That is a battle long fought and hard won. I am a new person. I am finally headed int he right direction. :)

I won't quit.....

I did my day 4 workout today. I admit, I struggled some, but I kept going. I am seeing and feeling a difference already, so the struggle is worth it. I am adjusting my calories, and trying to eat as well as I can. I am redefining my relationship with food; it feels strange but in a good way. I see what I eat as fuel now for the awesome machine that is my body, instead of seeing it as a crutch to ease my sadness or make me feel satisfied. Things are changing in my head. I like it.

Easy does it....

Well, according to my Turbo Fire schedule, today is the day I am supposed to rest. No workout for me. I feel kind of anxious right now, like I should be doing something. I am so used to working out everyday. This is weird. Oh well, it is what I must do. I have already cleaned my house this week, but maybe there is a load of laundry to fold or something. Good night, did I just say that? Did I just hope for laundry? I must be losing it. Nah, I just have newly found energy since starting this program. I almost feel like a caffeine junkie with the twitches. LOL. Good. I heard nervous twitching can burn calories. On a surprising note, I have lost 4 pounds in two days! I know, it is most likely just water weight....but damn that is 4 whole pounds in no time! That is more than I have lost all at once in quite a while. Damned plateaus. Anyway, today I am trying to rest and not stress, for tomorrow I will workout again!

Day two....

Ok, so I am pressed for time, and I hope to add more to this later.....but I did my 2nd day of Turbo Fire today. I am hurting (in a good way!) and I feel proud! Also, I am 2 pounds lighter today. I know it is just water weight, but still, that number fell two places on that scale and that rocks! More later!

Fresh start....

Ok, so today I started the Turbo Fire workout program. This is a much more intense, detailed fitness regimen than what I was doing previously. The workouts are already laid out for me, so no hassle with trying to schedule things from one day to the next. Also no chance of getting bored! The program offers a meal booklet that has a lot of good information on nutrition and such. It is full of ideas for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. All the meals have already been calculated for caloric intake, which takes the guess work out for me. Awesome! Anywho, I did my first workout today. It was INTENSE. I loved it, though. I love pushing myself and sweating to the music. Makes me feel alive! I will be on this program for at least 12 weeks, so I plan to see major results! I can hardly wait to get fit again!
If anyone is interested in learning more about this program, you can find it on the Beach Body website. Go have a look. They have a lot of great products on there. I am partial to Turbo Jam and Turbo Fire, but feel free to browse. You may find something that clicks for you, the way the Turbo programs clicked for me. Until I found those, I absolutely HATED working out. Such a chore! But now it is actually fun, even for a big girl like me. I am currently 263 lbs. I can't wait to see where I end up after the 12 weeks!

Where does the time go......

 Wow. I haven't blogged in about 11 days! Sorry. I have been working A LOT lately. Not too much to report. I am still vegan, still trying everyday to stay healthy and be active. On a bright note, today my jeans are really baggy. Two weeks ago they were snug. Now they are almost hanging off me. Nice, except that they are practically brand new. That is the one downfall to weight loss: you have to buy a lot of clothes. It is one I can live with, though. :)
 I finally got my hubby to enjoy tofu, which I thought to be an impossibility. Perhaps I will make a vegan of him yet? Turkey day is almost upon us. (I refuse to refer to it as "Thanksgiving", since that concept is based on a lie perpetuated throughout the centuries about pilgrims and natives feasting in joy. It was nothing like that, but we are all taught to believe it was a happy occasion. Bah.) Anyway, I am looking for a tasty yet simple recipe so I can take something to our dinner this year. We will be spending our first turkey day with my husband's dad and his girlfriend, so I want to make something good! I'm looking forward to it.
 Well, that is about all I have to say at the moment. No huge revelations about weight loss, no vast drops in that scale number. Just keeping it healthy and taking one day at a time. Until the next post......