DAMMIT.....

This new work schedule is really killing me. I mean, the money is awesome but I am so f-ing tired! Strangely, my weight has plateaued for now, but I have lost several inches. WTF? How am I way smaller but have lost no more weight? I went down 2 entire sizes (got new work scrubs) and I haven't dropped a pound in a while! My body is so weird. Oh well. It is more about how you look and not what you weigh, anyhow. I will try to post again soon. Hopefully the new year will bring a more sane schedule.

Grrrrrr......

Please don't count me out. Still getting adjusted to the new work schedule. This 6 days a week thing is rough! I will be back soon!

MIA....

Sorry I have been absent lately. My work schedule is killing me! Still at it with the Turbo Fire. Still eating well. Just need a few days to get adjusted to working 6 DAYS A WEEK. Ugh, what was I thinking? Oh well. The money will be great.

Week 2 is off with a bang....

Today marks the beginning of week two of Turbo Fire. I am now down to 257 and my measurements are looking promising! I will post them at the end of this entry. Today's workout was intense but fun; felt more like dancing than exercise. I love it. Today is my only day off all week, so I plan to enjoy it. I wish Didge (won't post her real name for privacy reasons) was here. I miss her. Oh well. That is what emails are for, right? Anyway, I am doing well. I am very impressed with myself; I have not wavered, I have not given up or gotten lazy. I am going to see this through. I am going to get fit and be healthy again. I want this more than anything. :)

Ok, measurements. Here we go:

                       Start:                                         Current:
Weight:           263lbs                                         257lbs

Waist:              48in                                              40in

Hips:                50in                                              48in

Chest:              41in                                              39in

Biceps:             13in                                              13.5in

Thighs:              30in                                              29in

Body Fat:           39%                                               27%

End of week 1....

Today was the final day of week one of Turbo Fire. I am currently having an issue trying to adjust my calories. I am thinking I need to stay around 2000 daily, but the calorie counter on the Beach Body site says 1600. I think that is just too low. My coach says to take in more, so I am going to go with that for now! I am feeling healthier every day. I am so ready for week two! Bring it!

Pushing it.....

Day 6 is off to a good start. Healthy breakfast, intense workout, feeling good. I am still trying to adjust my eating schedule to coincide with my work schedule. Especially now that I will be working 6 days a week every week. Great for the bank account, difficult on the schedule. Oh well.  I will manage. I am determined to make this work.

Wow. I feel like......wow.......

Here I am on day 5 of my Turbo Fire journey. I am now down 6, count 'em, 6 pounds! Already! I just finished a 55 minute intense cardio workout. I am so covered in sweat, and I can't remember the last time I was actually this sweaty. I feel amazing! I made it through the longest cardio workout I have done thus far! Yes, it was a bit of a struggle, but I DID IT! Whew! I am eating well, exercising, and I feel so damn good right now. I have finally gotten a grasp on the whole food addiction thing. I no longer feel anchored to my appetite. Food is fuel, and nothing more. It should not be a source of pleasure. If I want pleasure, I will read a book or see a movie, or attack my husband. (I'll leave the rest to the imagination) Anyway, food is for fueling my body so it can function properly. True, it does taste good and that does activate the pleasure sensors in my brain....but I don't depend on food for my happiness any longer. That is a battle long fought and hard won. I am a new person. I am finally headed int he right direction. :)

I won't quit.....

I did my day 4 workout today. I admit, I struggled some, but I kept going. I am seeing and feeling a difference already, so the struggle is worth it. I am adjusting my calories, and trying to eat as well as I can. I am redefining my relationship with food; it feels strange but in a good way. I see what I eat as fuel now for the awesome machine that is my body, instead of seeing it as a crutch to ease my sadness or make me feel satisfied. Things are changing in my head. I like it.

Easy does it....

Well, according to my Turbo Fire schedule, today is the day I am supposed to rest. No workout for me. I feel kind of anxious right now, like I should be doing something. I am so used to working out everyday. This is weird. Oh well, it is what I must do. I have already cleaned my house this week, but maybe there is a load of laundry to fold or something. Good night, did I just say that? Did I just hope for laundry? I must be losing it. Nah, I just have newly found energy since starting this program. I almost feel like a caffeine junkie with the twitches. LOL. Good. I heard nervous twitching can burn calories. On a surprising note, I have lost 4 pounds in two days! I know, it is most likely just water weight....but damn that is 4 whole pounds in no time! That is more than I have lost all at once in quite a while. Damned plateaus. Anyway, today I am trying to rest and not stress, for tomorrow I will workout again!

Day two....

Ok, so I am pressed for time, and I hope to add more to this later.....but I did my 2nd day of Turbo Fire today. I am hurting (in a good way!) and I feel proud! Also, I am 2 pounds lighter today. I know it is just water weight, but still, that number fell two places on that scale and that rocks! More later!

Fresh start....

Ok, so today I started the Turbo Fire workout program. This is a much more intense, detailed fitness regimen than what I was doing previously. The workouts are already laid out for me, so no hassle with trying to schedule things from one day to the next. Also no chance of getting bored! The program offers a meal booklet that has a lot of good information on nutrition and such. It is full of ideas for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. All the meals have already been calculated for caloric intake, which takes the guess work out for me. Awesome! Anywho, I did my first workout today. It was INTENSE. I loved it, though. I love pushing myself and sweating to the music. Makes me feel alive! I will be on this program for at least 12 weeks, so I plan to see major results! I can hardly wait to get fit again!
If anyone is interested in learning more about this program, you can find it on the Beach Body website. Go have a look. They have a lot of great products on there. I am partial to Turbo Jam and Turbo Fire, but feel free to browse. You may find something that clicks for you, the way the Turbo programs clicked for me. Until I found those, I absolutely HATED working out. Such a chore! But now it is actually fun, even for a big girl like me. I am currently 263 lbs. I can't wait to see where I end up after the 12 weeks!

Where does the time go......

 Wow. I haven't blogged in about 11 days! Sorry. I have been working A LOT lately. Not too much to report. I am still vegan, still trying everyday to stay healthy and be active. On a bright note, today my jeans are really baggy. Two weeks ago they were snug. Now they are almost hanging off me. Nice, except that they are practically brand new. That is the one downfall to weight loss: you have to buy a lot of clothes. It is one I can live with, though. :)
 I finally got my hubby to enjoy tofu, which I thought to be an impossibility. Perhaps I will make a vegan of him yet? Turkey day is almost upon us. (I refuse to refer to it as "Thanksgiving", since that concept is based on a lie perpetuated throughout the centuries about pilgrims and natives feasting in joy. It was nothing like that, but we are all taught to believe it was a happy occasion. Bah.) Anyway, I am looking for a tasty yet simple recipe so I can take something to our dinner this year. We will be spending our first turkey day with my husband's dad and his girlfriend, so I want to make something good! I'm looking forward to it.
 Well, that is about all I have to say at the moment. No huge revelations about weight loss, no vast drops in that scale number. Just keeping it healthy and taking one day at a time. Until the next post......

Not dead yet....

Still here, still pushing play. Life has just been a whirlwind lately and I haven't had a good chance to blog. On the plus side, I am down about 7 pounds in the last week and a half. Always a good thing! I will be back soon. I promise.  :)

Little by little.....

I am on a losing spree again, it seems! Goodbye, plateau! I am already down 6lbs since Monday. Awesome. I had one of those really cool moments this morning. I got out of the shower, wrapped my towel around me.....and it covered me completely with some to spare. For the last few years I have been so big my towels didn't wrap fully around; there was always that damn gap where the ends didn't meet. Now my towel fits! A small victory, but a victory nonetheless! I actually look smaller. I feel better. Dare I say, I even look a bit sexy? This is great! Can't wait to get all this weight off me and be totally healthy again! :)

Vegan at last.....

I found an awesome vegan friendly restaurant that is only about 20 minutes from my home! I went there today with the hubby and my cousin and enjoyed a totally vegan pizza with fresh spinach, roma tomatoes, garlic, and Daiya vegan cheese. OMG it was awesome! I am so happy! There is a severe lack of vegan friendly places to go around here. Always happy to find one, especially so close to home. :)

Consistent.....

Here I am, another pressed-for-time Saturday and I still did my workout! I did my Turbo Jam Ab Jam and my 1 mile super walk. I am sweaty and happy at the moment! Exercise has become so much a part of my life that I was about 4 minutes into the ab workout before I truly even though about what I was doing. It was just so automatic: get up, eat, rest a bit, work out. I love this! I enjoy myself now when I am working out. Exercise is actually fun. I used to hear people say that and I thought they were totally bat shit insane or something. Now, I am one of those people. Well, call me crazy.....

Slackin' off.....

Yeah, I missed a few days of posting. I am still on track with my health, even making some strides. I just got sidetracked and didn't get my posts done. Sorry. Hope someone is still reading this! I am really enjoying my cardio workouts. They are just so fun and invigorating! I do the Turbo Jam Cardio Party. Today I noticed that I didn't struggle as much as I used to. I have improved! Awesome!
On another note, I have been really getting into nutrition and such again. I am researching more about additives and preservatives in our food supply, as well as those god awful GMO products. I fully support accurate labeling of GMO ingredients. Here is a great site for more info: Just Label It  I love this site. Also, if you are curious about what is in the food you consume, go to Food Facts and check out their site. So much helpful info for free! I encourage everyone to have a look at what is in your food. You may think you are healthy, but when you learn about the chemicals you are eating you will be surprised. I was. Go. Learn. Tell.

Wait...what?

Ok, ok...so hubby and I are slack asses and we forgot to go get a new scale. Sue me. We will get one soon. Promise. Anyway, I was a good girl again today. I did my Turbo Jam 20 minute workout. I'm saving my walk for later tonight, since it should be beautiful weather. I am going to try and take it outdoors. I am trying to keep my mood up today, but hubby is in a foul one and that is not helping. Bad moods ruin everything. What a grouch. I plan to relax today. I want to read a bit, and I got some of those ultra soft aloe sock thingies for my feet. (they're purple!) I suppose I will slather on some lotion, don my socks, and relax while my feet get softer. Sounds like a plan to me.

Sweet Sunday....

I feel pretty awesome right now. I just did my Turbo Jam Ab Jam and a brisk 1 mile super walk courtesy of my Leslie Sansone dvd. The old me would have seen today as a day to be lazy, since I am off work and have no errands to run. The new me said, "Hell no! I am pushing play!" I surprised myself this past week. I worked out every single day, without fail. That has to be a first for me. I am down about 4 pounds I think, but we still haven't gotten that new scale. We plan to go out tomorrow and finally choose one. My gut is slowly disappearing, I have more energy, hell I am even sleeping better. Ah, the benefits of fitness! I could get used to this. It will be a slow process, losing all this weight, but I plan to enjoy it this time around. Besides, I'm a Libra. I can make anything fun!  :)

Push.....

I used to find any excuse not to work out on Saturday. Today I had every reason. I didn't sleep enough. I was awakened very early by a noisy neighbor. I have to go in to work early. I could use a break. Well, fuck that. I did my workout today. Yes, I did it! I pushed myself to do Turbo Jam 20 Minute as well as a 1 mile super walk. I still have time for a shower and late lunch before work. So much for excuses. I am a changed woman. Now I feel awful if I don't do some type of fitness each day; like some part of me is missing. I love this feeling. I accomplished what used to send me running for the couch. Also, I am starting to see definition in my WAIST. Hell, I haven't seen my waist in years. I wasn't even sure I still had one. But it is coming back now! Awesometastic!  :)

Time flies.....

Wow, I am pressed for time today! I spent most of my afternoon grocery shopping, and I just squeezed in my Turbo Jam Ab Jam before I have to grab a shower and then head to work. I have had zero time to breathe today! But I am proud of myself. I did my workout, even though I had a valid excuse to skip it today. I may not get to walk my mile, but I did my ab workout! I am improving! :)

Togetherness....

Well, today my hubby came to me and asked me to go to the gym! I was so proud of him! He weighed himself (he is down 2 pounds!) and he walked on the treadmill while I did my mile on the elliptical. (in 10 minutes, I might add!) Soon I will work up to 2 miles, but for now I want to build my stamina on 1. Then, we walked down to get the mail, and back to our apartment. After a HUGE glass of water, I did my 20 minute Turbo Jam workout. I am sweaty and happy! I am actually starting to notice a change, mentally and physically. I feel smaller, fitter. I crave good food and exercise. I push myself more. I am so happy with how things are going right now. Tomorrow we are buying a new scale (finally!) so I can start keeping track of my weight again. Right now I am sucking down a bowl of red seedless grapes and a glass of water. I love water. Seriously. I am so proud. I have been consistent this week. I am making good decisions regarding my health. My hubby is finally following suit. I am all smiles today. :-D

Another day.....

I am kind of mad at myself. I slept way too late today, and I only had time to do my ab workout before I have to go to work. I didn't get to do my mile on the elliptical. Dammit. That really pisses me off. I always do my mile. Well, tomorrow I will just do two. *sigh* I hate sleeping late. I hate missing a workout. (insert choice expletive here)

Then and now....

I just finished my daily workout. I did the 20 minute Turbo Jam and I walked my usual mile. I know today is elliptical day, but it is raining like mad and I didn't feel like venturing out in it. Instead, I did my 1 mile Leslie Sansone Super Walk. Now I am enjoying a bagel with natural peanut butter and a bowl of red seedless grapes. I think of it as a healthy pb&j, without all the sugar and crap. I was thinking about what has changed in my life. I now workout everyday, when I used to lay around on the couch and eat pizza. I snack on fruits and veggies, when I used to snack on chips and cookies. Junky food doesn't interest me anymore. I mean, sure, it tastes good; but now I see it as the artery-clogging, fat-inducing, chaotic, chemical shit-storm it really is. My hubby is still trying to eat healthy, but he has been wavering just a bit. The other night he wanted to buy a pack of cinnamon rolls. I held the pack up to his gut and said, "Why don't you just go ahead and tape them on here. They are headed there anyway." Needless to say, he put them back. But he is trying. He isn't working out yet, but a small change is better than none. Besides, it took me years and many failed attempts to finally get my shit straight. He will learn eventually.
 Anyway, back to my reminiscing. I am just amazed at what I used to eat; what I used to find acceptable. How could I do that to my body? Now I am paying the price; I have about 120lbs to lose. Seriously. People say I don't look that big. Maybe I carry it weird, but it is there. At my heaviest, which wasn't long ago, I was 270lbs. My normal weight should be around 140lbs. That means I was carrying an extra 130lbs! That is an entire other person! Gross! I don't even want to imagine the strain I have caused on my joints and my organs thus far. That is why this weight loss is so important to me. I don't want to be a supermodel; I want to be healthy and happy. I want to live past 40. So everyday, I push play. Rain or shine; hell or high water. I will keep going until I am healthy, then I will maintain that health. It feels good to finally be on the right track!  :)

AB-solutely fabulous......

I did not stick to my scheduled routine today. Wait, wait...before you tar and feather me....I still worked out! I just couldn't resist going down to the gym for an elliptical session. See, according to my new plan, I do the elliptical every other day starting Sunday. So today should have been a non-gym day. I am like an elliptical junkie; I couldn't stay away. I did the "fat burning" routine, and with resistance I managed to do a mile in 10 minutes! WOW! On the treadmill a mile took me 22 minutes; my first day on the elliptical without resistance took 12 minutes 57 seconds. Today WITH resistance I did it in 10 minutes! I felt like a total champ! Not to mention I burned about 170 calories and some nasty old fat. Bonus. Anyway, after that I felt motivated, so I did the Turbo Jam Ab Jam. Now, I used to just do the first 10 minutes, which was standing ab work. I used to struggle to get through that. Today, for the very first time, I did the entire 20 minutes! I did standing and floor ab work! How great is that? I really am proud of myself today! I am a champ! I may feel like twisted hell in the morning, but today I am a champ! I hate to sound lame, but I feel AB-solutely fabulous! :)

Going strong....

Well, I wasn't able to make it to the gym today for my elliptical session. No worries, I did my 20 minute Turbo Jam workout, then I did a Leslie Sansone 1 mile Super Walk from this dvd set I won a while back. It was a very brisk, aerobic 1 mile walk-at-home workout. I loved it! I was sweating and moving; it felt awesome! So, instead of giving in to my urge to be lazy on a Sunday, I pushed play. Believe me, it wasn't easy. I was sooooo wanting to just give in and just eat junk on the couch all day. Then I looked in the mirror and saw a girl who needed to sweat a bit. Ok, a LOT. I do what I can. Today was a small victory. I worked out when I wanted to be lazy. And I found another new workout I enjoy. Awesome!

I have included the link for Turbo Jam before, so here is the link for the Walk-At-Home workouts, if anyone is interested. They are great!  Leslie Sansone Walk-At-Home workouts

Better late than never......

Well, I got home later than usual last night and did not get a chance to blog. I have moved on from my beloved treadmill. I am now a full blown fan of the elliptical machine. I know, I said previously that I didn't like it. I suppose I just wasn't doing it right or something. It is a faster, more intense workout, and yet it causes way less strain on my lower body. My knees didn't receive the harsh impact that the treadmill causes. It was a great workout. I plan to do the elliptical every other day. I could do a mile on the treadmill in about 18 minutes; I did a mile on the elliptical in 12 minutes. Awesome. I am sold. No more treadmill for me. It is elliptical all the way!  :)

Happy birthday to me....

Well, today is my birthday and this is my 100th post! Cool, huh? I feel great today! (Libras love their birthdays!) I am eating healthy, exercising regularly, and even my hubby is on board with the good health thing. Life is awesometastic! I am getting in better shape day by day, and I plan to be around for many more birthdays. :)

Also, in honor of my birthday, I invite anyone reading this blog to check out something very dear to me. Follow the link and have a look. Thanks!  Kelly's Birthday Wish

Breaking tradition....

So, my birthday is tomorrow, but my family got together and celebrated it yesterday. The long standing tradition is that on your birthday, grandma makes you a home made cake. Her cakes are always delicious, but this year the hubby and I are eating healthy. When I first mentioned passing on the traditional cake, the family was like, "How can you not have cake? What will we have instead?" I suggested a veggie tray. Well....it was a hit! My entire family sat around the table, munching on veggies and dip while reminiscing about good times. It was so cool! That tray was huge, too. It had cherry tomatoes, celery, cucumbers, yellow squash, broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots. It also had ranch dip for the non-vegans. I was amazed. My family has had a somewhat difficult time accepting that I eat differently than they do. Every holiday is, "Oh, just try a bite. A little meat won't kill you. What do you mean you don't eat dairy?" This birthday was great in that my whole family decided to partake in my healthy ways and enjoy veggies. I was moved. I was also stuffed by the time we left! What a great day.

Two is better than one....

I hit the gym again today, and this time my hubby went with me! It was so awesome, both of us working out together. He says he wants to try and go with me 3 or 4 days a week. I currently go 5 or 6 days a week. He did well on his first day. He is in better shape than I am. I hope we can make this a regular thing. It feels good to have a workout partner. Also, it gives us some quality time together. That is always a plus! I am happy today! :)

Natural.....

Well, I tried natural peanut butter for the first time today. I like it. True, I have never had to stir my peanut butter before, but apparently the natural kind tends to separate over time. Yes, it was totally gross. However, I pressed on. I had a bagel with the pb and a banana. The first taste of the pb seemed "off". I guess my taste buds were expecting the sugary/salty glop I was raised on. But then I took another bite, and realized it tasted pretty damned good. Not to mention it is just peanuts and minimal salt; no hydrogenated oils or other crap that shouldn't be in there. Suffice it to say, I am hooked on natural peanut butter. I hope to hit the gym today. The last few days maintenance was fixing the parking lot and I didn't want to try and traverse the area to get to the gym. I did the home workouts instead. Now they seem to be finished with repairs, so I think I can make it safely. I miss my treadmill!
  On another note, I recently came off my birth control pills. No, we don't want kids. I just read about the health problems that can be associated with the pill, especially in women over 30. Sounded too risky to me, so I quit. Now I am losing all the water weight I had retained due to the hormones, and I feel great! My mind seems more clear, my body feels better. I guess the pill was bad for me, because I felt like crap all the years I was on it. I am not saying every woman should stop the pill; I am just saying that stopping did wonders for me. I feel better. I feel more natural. I guess I feel like peanut butter. :)

Out with the old....

Pretty soon I will have to go shopping for clothes. I look forward to it and dread it at the same time. Every girl likes to buy new things, but when you're a big girl it kind of sucks. I hate trying to find my size, then trying to find something decent in my size....*sigh*......it gets disheartening at times. I know I can't wear the cute clothes in a size 8 just yet, but buying the larger sizes just reminds me how far I have to go. And I know it is probably just my mind being cruel, but I feel like nothing looks good on me. I have never been a fan of shopping simply because I am what they call "plus size". You big girls know what I'm talking about....searching for "comfort fit" or elastic, breaking a sweat in the changing room (why do they make them so damned confined?), the ever popular "sucking it in" technique, and never being truly satisfied. Shopping is no fun when you're fat. But, it must be done. And I guess the thrill of getting into a smaller size from time to time is worth it. I just hope they have the a/c going full blast in those changing rooms. Big girl doesn't want to be all sweaty. Ugh.

Tread lightly....

Well, I made it down to the gym to enjoy the treadmill today. I like it. This one tells me my heart rate, my calories burned, etc. Very high tech. I bet of I collapsed, it would even give a moment of silence. Ok, maybe not, but it is still pretty neat. I managed to walk at a highly moderate pace for about 20 minutes. I burned 150 calories and kept my heart rate at 151bpm. Not bad for a fatty. I also tried the exercise bike and the elliptical, but I just don't like them as much. Treadmill for the win.
  Anyway, on a different note....my hubby told me earlier that beginning next month he wants to try the vegan thing. I was very happy to hear that! Even if he doesn't stick with it, just making the effort without me asking is cool enough. Now I get to teach him all my lovely vegan knowledge. I can't wait. He also wants to go to the gym with me on his days off. Looks like October is going to be a great month. Well, it always is. I'm a Libra. We love October. :)

Out and about...

Today I had to play adult and run errands. So not fun. I did, however, manage to stop in and check out the fitness center here at my apartment complex. I like it! It has the bulky heavy weight equipment for the fellas, and for the ladies there is an elliptical machine, a bike, and a treadmill or two. The equipment has all the fancy fitness tests, incline adjustments, etc that make them capable of multiple types of workouts. Cardio city! It may not be a huge place, but it is nice. I can visit that place, and also keep doing my Turbo Jam. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Me likey!
 On the food front, I am psyched to learn that my local grocer carries some of my vegan favies! I was totally lacking true vegan happiness in my old town. This new place just gives off such a happy vibe! A fit vibe, as well! I am going to love it here! Until next time....

I'm not dead, just relocating.....

Well, I finally got moved, and after 2 agonizing weeks I have internet again! Yay! I am sorry to have been gone for so long. I do hope I still have a few readers left. I was unable to log in and keep track of my fitness, but I can assure you I ate properly and exercised my bahookey off moving! We live in a second level apartment now, so I have used those stairs to my advantage! This place also has a fitness center, which I plan to start visiting as of tomorrow. This new place is great, with plenty of workout room! I dropped 8 pounds just from all the work of moving. Nice! On a side note, we had dinner with my father-in-law and his gf the other night. My first experience with Thai food. It was delicious! And totally vegan. Bonus! I am so excited to be back online and to continue with my blog! See you all tomorrow!

News....

Hey friends. Just want to let everyone know I will not be online for the next few days. I will be moving. Please check back in a week and I should be back on with fun blogs. Good luck to everyone. Keep pushing play!

I survived....

So, today was day one of my new workout regime. I did the 45 minute Turbo Jam Cardio Party. Apparently, I did not die. That in itself amazes me, since that workout takes some endurance. It is fun, though. Chalene makes you want to keep pushing, whereas most instructors make you want to hurl a brick through the television. I managed to do the entire workout, though I did opt to keep it low impact. I am not blind; a girl my size does not need to impact her knees if she doesn't have to. Even doing it low impact, I was still sweating like a hooker in church. I just polished off a plate of celebratory clementines. Now I am just relaxing and enjoying this great feeling that comes with completing a workout. It is almost like a sort of euphoria. I may not always want to workout, but if I push myself and complete the dreaded task, I get to feel awesome. That makes it worth it to me. Also, the more I put into my fitness, the more likely I am to stay on track with my nutrition. Who wants to sweat like a pig for an hour, only to undermine that effort with junk? Hell, we've all done it. I just don't want to anymore. I want to work hard and eat right, so I can see the payoff. I want visible abs. I want a hot body. I want to look cute in my outfits, not hide in them. I want to walk and talk at the same time without getting short of breath. I want to be able to bend over and pick things up without having to lean sideways or squat to avoid my gut. I want to feel sexy again. A girl deserves to feel sexy. Ok, enough whining. I plan to enjoy this good mood. I earned it. From the smell of me, I have also earned a shower. Ugh. Sweaty. Ok, so that was day one. Let's see how the next day goes. Until then....

Decisions, decisions......

Well, I think I have made up my mind. More cardio it is! I will attempt to alternate the Turbo Jam Cardio Party and the Turbo Jam 20 Minute Jam. I will also be doing the Turbo Jam Ab Jam on the same days as the 20 Minute Jam. We'll see how that schedule works for me. So I suppose it will be Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday cardio; and Monday, Wednesday, Friday 20 min/Abs. Saturday is my free day. It may take some tweaking before I find a schedule that works, but this seems like a good start. I definitely need to focus on cardio right now. I want to burn some fat! Lot's of it! Tomorrow should be interesting, to say the least. Until then....

Finally!!!!!!!!

I slept last night! The entire night! The tea freaking worked! I feel so much better. Sleep is so awesome. My hubby wanted me to get pills, and when he saw the tea he said it was a total crock. Well, he drank some too and he slept better than he has in a long time. So ha! I guess mother nature trumps chemicals any day. I have to work tonight, but I am going to try and squeeze in a workout before I go. I am starting to wonder if I should do more cardio to burn more fat, or just keep doing my regular workout? I read in an article today (via my wonderful Beachbody coach, Amber) that you have to get through all the fat in order to see the muscle, so cardio is a good idea to burn off the fat. It got me thinking: someone my size may benefit more from cardio than just a regular workout. If anyone has any pointers, feel free to comment. I am going to try the Turbo Jam Cardio Party today and see if I can survive. LOL. Until tomorrow....

Insomnia sucks......

No, I did not sleep at all last night. Seriously. I finally fell asleep around 8am this morning, then woke up at 9:30am, then dozed again until 11:30am. Needless to say, I have felt like hammered shit all day. After my workout I went to buy groceries. I looked at the sleep aids, but I hated the amount of unknown chemicals in each. Even the ones made of "natural" ingredients had chemicals I couldn't pronounce. I decided to try herbal tea. I got something called "Celestial Seasonings Sleepy Time Blend". I hope it works. I just wanted to use a truly natural remedy. Chemicals suck.

On a lighter note, I have a new short term goal. My husband and I are going to visit his dad in about 3 weeks. We haven't seen him in almost 4 years. I want to slim down as much as possible so I won't look like a fat lump when we see him. I know it shouldn't matter, but I just want to look decent so he won't think his son has a blob for a wife. Anyway, I have 3 weeks to try and shed some serious poundage. Don't worry, I won't go off the deep and starve myself. None of that foolishness. I plan to eat right and work out, but I really want to lose as much as I can. So that is my next goal. To shed some noticeable weight before the visit. I think I can do it. Time will tell. Until tomorrow....

Quickie....

No big post today because my internet has been going out randomly all day. The company is doing repairs in my area, and I don't want to start a big blog and lose it. All is well. I will return tomorrow.

OMG....really?

I am writing this at such an ungodly hour on a Sunday morning. Being up early isn't so bad, but being up this early after working late last night kind of sucks. I had to be up for the cable repair man. We've had internet issues. As I thought, it is on their end, not ours. Hope it is fixed soon. Anyway...onto important things. I feel like today is going to be a turn around type of day. Lately I have been struggling with my journey. Today I will step up and get my groove back. Sometimes the path from fat to fit can be so daunting. Especially when you have over 100 lbs to lose. But like a friend once told me, it took years to put on the weight. It won't come off in a day. I have to remind myself that although it seemed like it happened overnight, my weight gain was very gradual and it will be reversed in the same manner. We never see the weight piling on; we just look in the mirror one day and say "WTF happened to me?!" It hits us suddenly; we don't look like we thought we did! So, in our minds it was a sudden change, and we want it to change back quickly. When it doesn't happen, we can get discouraged and give up. I am proud of myself. I didn't give up this time like I have in the past. I will lose this weight, even if it takes a year! I can do this. I've made progress already. I look forward to better days, not behind to glory days. I am going to keep working out, huffing and puffing my way to a higher endurance level. I am going to keep eating healthy, realizing with each meal how disgusting my old habits really were. I will use food for fuel, not a reward. I am not a dog! (right, Amber? LOL!) I will keep talking to myself (not in public though; people stare) and pushing myself to be my best. No matter what comes up, no matter who tries to stand in my way....even if it is me....I will keep moving ahead. So, as I said earlier, today is a new day. A turn around day. Mentally, I am starting over. A new attitude can work wonders on a fitness journey. So, here I go with my head held higher than it has been in a long time. I am going to be the best me I can be. I will take things one day at a time and not get discouraged. I will be fit again. *sigh* Man, that felt good to admit! You know, now I feel awake enough for an early morning workout. Off I go.....

Blah....

This past week has not been one of my most memorable. I hate stress. Seriously. Especially since my old method of handling it was to overeat like a pig. Now I have to "channel my anger" and "breathe deeply". Working out helps relieve some stress but not all of it. I quit smoking 4 years ago, I eat healthy now....all of my old vices are gone. Dammit. Relearning how to deal with stress truly sucks. If you've read my previous posts, you know yoga isn't currently an option. Maybe someday soon. *sigh* The joys of reinventing yourself! I know my hard work will pay off, but I am at that point right now where it is most difficult to stay focused. I have come quite a way, but I have such a long way to go. Life seems to be championing against me at every turn. Days like this make me want to hide out on my couch all day, scarfing pizza and chex mix. Don't worry, I wouldn't dare. I have made progress and I don't intend to start all over again. I just needed to vent. Every girl needs that from time to time. Now, I will quit my whining and go do my workout. Until next time....

Update....

Hey everybody. Sorry to be MIA lately. I have a few personal things going on. I will be back in a day or two. Thanks.

Wow....so tired....

My god, I am beat! I kind of got lazy and skipped my veggies the last few days. Big no-no. I am currently lacking energy. Veggies are my friend! My days get so hectic when I have to work. Hopefully, that will be changing soon. I may have some good news in the job department soon. Maybe. Keep your fingers crossed! Ok, so I know I promised a big post for tonight, but I am so worn out. It was a rough day. But I promise to load up on veggies from now on! :)

Jeeze....

I am such a lame blogger. Yesterday and today were hectic because of work. I promise to post a nice big blog tomorrow! =)

Oh well....

No, I didn't forget to blog yesterday. My computer tried to get wonky again. The issue is now resolved, hence today's daily dose of me. I know you are totally enthralled at this point. Anyway, exercise is the same, still eating healthy. Today I attended a ceremony at work for recent grads. They honored those of us who have completed degrees this year, be it Masters, Bachelors, or Associates. It was nice. I got a certificate. The downside was the refreshments. I had hoped for sandwiches or appetizers. No. It was ice cream. Three big vats of ice cream; chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. Also a huge table of toppings; strawberries, cherries, walnuts caked in sugary goo, and chocolate syrup. The thought was appreciated, but what about the vegans of the world like me? Why, in this day and age, do people not even attempt to compromise? I hate being in the minority sometimes. Really. *sigh* I dream of a day when banquets include vegan options; when every restaurant has a vegan friendly menu. Too bad it won't be tomorrow. Oh well.....until next time......

Oopsie...

I totally spaced yesterday and forgot to blog! I was spending time with my hubby and got sidetracked. It happens. I am still on it with my fitness, though. My knee is healing so I am back at it with my Turbo Jam. I have gotten my hubby hooked on salads, so that is a nice small victory! I didn't post any measurements today because nothing has changed. I guess I hit a plateau. Oh well. It happens. I will see results again soon. I just have to keep at it. Not much to say today. Feeling somewhat introspective. Perhaps I will have something profound to share with you all tomorrow. Until then...

Oh, the agony....or maybe ago-knee......

Well, I am pretty much incapacitated today. Last night I decided to introduce my knee to the desk at work. Now I have a huge bruise and it kills me to bend my knee or even put weight on it. Ugh! I believe I bruised it directly on a ligament or something. Seriously. OUCH! On the bright side, my limping skills have improved. So no workout today. *sad face* I am doing well to simply walk around. OMG it really hurts, too. I hope it heals quickly. I miss my Turbo Jam! Dammit all.....

What a day....

So exhausted! Today was pretty typical. Busy with work. Enduring that lovely time of the month, so all day I felt as if I would split in two. Nice. Oh what I wouldn't give for early menopause. Seriously. Anyways, I am tired, it is late, and I don't really have anything else to say. My posts on work days tend to be a bit boring. LOL. Oh well.....

Time is fleeting....

Today was so NOT a good day. I didn't get to do Turbo Jam before going to work, I had to drive in a torrential downpour, I got soaked head to toe, and we were hella busy all night. Now I am home, tired, and my back is killing me. I ate healthy, but I hate missing workouts! I will be sure to get one in tomorrow. At least the rain finally stopped. I had water in places I didn't even know existed.....

Yoga....more like You-Gotta-Be-Kidding-Me.......

Well, it's official: I am too fat for yoga. Dammit. I tried a basic yoga routine today. I did alright until it was time for something called a "child's pose". My head was no where near the floor, and I damn near fell over. I honestly did not realize how badly my weight has affected my agility until today! I could not bend far enough due to fat rolls; I could barely get my legs in the proper crossed position required for basic poses. OMG it was such a disaster. Talk about an eye opener. The only thing that kept me from curling up in the fetal position in utter defeat and shame was the fact that I can't bend that goddamn far. I mean, really? Am I really that fat? *sigh* I am determined to do yoga, though. Maybe I can find a fat girl routine or something. Until then, I suppose I will just stick with my Turbo Jam. Yoga could be dangerous. I can see it now, my husband coming home to find me laid out in the floor unconscious because I lost my balance and crushed myself. Maybe after I lose some more rolls, yoga won't be so difficult. Besides, it is supposed to relax you. I was pretty much gasping like a sick moose. Not my best moment. I'm happy with exercise for now. Oh well. At least I did try. Until next time....

Grrrrrrr.....

Today I truly wished for a shotgun and amnesty. *sigh* I just had to deal with a very immature person on the phone for about 20 minutes. I would have rather chewed on a Brillo pad. Seriously. Anyway, today I am still on track. I had hoped to try yoga for the first time today. (I certainly could use it now that my blood pressure is sky high.) However, time did not allow it. I will try it out tomorrow, hopefully. Other than that, same old same old. My life is pretty boring right now, what can I say? Hey, I promised to blog everyday about my journey. I never said it would be riveting. LOL. Until tomorrow....

She's back......

Ok, so I FINALLY have a functional computer again! My hubby is such a smart man. I could never fix a computer. Anyway, I have been sticking to my healthy eating and exercise. I measured today, but the computer fiasco resulted in a loss of information. I no longer have the site that listed my measurements. I mean, I can hunt it down again, but as yet I haven't. Suffice it to say I am down to 250lbs and I lost about half and inch each on my waist, chest, and hips. I am logging my progress on Team Beachbody now, and my profile is under KellyMichelle79. I don't have the direct link, but I assume you can search for me there. If I get a link I will post it. This week is going to suck. It is that lovely time of the month. I hate water retention! I don't use table salt, and I try to keep things low sodium, but still.....I always end up bloated and grumpy. Blah. I pray for early menopause.....

UPDATE: This should be the link to my profile:  Kelly's Beachbody Page

Update....

Ok, I just want to post and let you all know I am still alive. My computer died on me. First my scale, then my PC. Do all electronics have it in for me now? Anyway, I was unable to post for several days. Now I am back online, thanks to my lovely hubby! Expect my blogs to resume tomorrow!

Hump day blahs.....

I feel kind of blah today. I think it is because I had 2 wonderful days with my hubby to celebrate our 3 year wedding anniversary (it was Monday) and now it is back to reality. Why can't every day be our anniversary? LOL! I did not blog, but I stayed on track. It wasn't easy, we all want to get lazy and eat like pigs on special occasions. I maintained my healthy ways. It felt good! Today I ran some errands, and I am about to go workout. Then it will be clementines and the couch for me! So, until tomorrow...

Up yours.....

Well, I finally "upped" my workout today. I have slowly recovered from that chunky funk phase, and I was doing the Turbo Jam Ab Jam and Learn/Burn. Today I did the 20 Minute Jam. More intense, lots of sweat. I survived! I figured if I could do the 45 minute Cardio Party that 20 minutes would be a breeze. Shoot, this is a totally different experience from just straight cardio! This was a freaking total body workout. So now I am pleasantly sore in various parts of my body. I like the 20 Minute Jam! It was a lot of fun, even though I was sweating like a pig. Chalene Johnson is the first instructor I haven't actively cussed while doing their program. She makes it enjoyable.
On another note, I am still contemplating the working out in front of the hubby issue. One thing I thought might be the cause is, of course, body image. I don't look like those people on the screen. I don't do the moves quite as well as they do. No woman ever wants to look less than top notch to her man, even though we know he will love us regardless. I guess I'm afraid of looking foolish or imperfect. I don't know. Still working on this one. Maybe I will have more insight tomorrow. See you then....

What a day.....

Well, I skipped my workout today, since Saturday is my new "off" day due to my work schedule. However, I got a workout anyway on the job tonight. Lot's of lifting and pulling of the patients. My back kind of hates me right now. It's all part of the job, but damn I actually broke a sweat tonight because we were so busy! Ugh! I am ready for my 4 days off now! I want to try and step up my workouts starting tomorrow. I feel I am ready, so we will see how it goes. Until tomorrow....

Just a quickie....

Ok, so I am in sort of a rush today. I have to go to work soon, but I wanted to post and say I did my workout, I am eating well, and I have a few thoughts on that whole "working out in front of the hubby" thing. Perhaps I can get on here after work and post some more. If not, then tomorrow. Until then....

The follow- through.....

I am still at it. I admit, I originally entertained the notion of being lazy today and skipping my workout. Then I made myself go back and reread my earlier blog posts, and I saw how success made me so happy. I realized that I can be lazy after I work out! At least then, it will be earned. So I put on my big girl panties and did my Turbo Jam Ab Jam and Learn/Burn. It was a good 50 minutes of fitness. Now I am relaxing with some cold water and (of course) clementines. I feel so good having conquered yet another day of exercise! To think, I almost let this pass me by. How stupid. Shame on me.
 On a different note, I have realized that I can't workout in front of my husband. He is off today, and he got out of bed during my workout. When he came in the room, I stopped for a second out of embarrassment. He told me not to feel ashamed, that he was proud of me, then he left the room so I could finish. Why am I so self conscious in front of him? This man has seen me naked at my worst, but somehow exercising in front of him seems impossible. I just can't do it; I am totally mortified at the mere thought of him seeing me in action. It is so weird! I should explore this more and find out why it bugs me so much. Perhaps tomorrow I will have some ideas. If you have any, feel free to comment. Anyway, other than that there isn't much to say. I worked out, I feel great, and I made myself proud by sticking to my regimen. Now for that well deserved shower and some relaxation! Until next time....

Insomnia is a real m*therf*cker.....

Ok, so for some unknown reason, I couldn't sleep at all Monday night. I tried, but around 4am Tuesday morning I gave up and got back up. I was awake all morning until around 10:30am, then I dozed for about half and hour. Later my husband suggested a nap. I slept from about 12:30pm until 7pm! Good lord! A whole day shot to hell! Unfortunately, I did not get to workout. On the plus side, sleeping gives the body a chance to burn off calories. Also, I didn't eat very much since I was sacked out. I had a tofurkey sandwich around 9am. For dinner I had a few slices of vegan pizza. That's pretty much it. I didn't blog this in time for it to post for Tuesday. Oh well. Now it is after 1am and I am not sleepy. Uh-oh! I better try to get tired soon, or I will be up all night again. Don't want that! Being so off track makes me feel groggy and yucky all day. I need energy! I need my workouts! I am so pissed that I missed mine for Tuesday! Grrrr! *deep breath* Today will be better. I will sleep, I will exercise, I will be happy. Until next time....

Measure of a (wo)man......

Ok, so today I wanted to reinstate my weigh and measure day. Well, my scale has decided to get wonky on me. I guess the bathroom steam took its toll. I am visibly smaller, my measurements are smaller, but my scale says I went from 253 to 267. IMPOSSIBLE. I have lost weight, and I know I haven't gained 14lbs of muscle! Looks like it is time to get a new scale. I should have hopped on one while out running errands, but I didn't think about it. So, no weight today. Here are my measurements, though:

My Current Measurements

You will see that I just left my weight as it was last time. I have no clue what it is at the moment. Stupid scale. Oh well. It is kind of old. I knew it wouldn't last forever. My husband suggested the new one should be a dial type instead of digital, so the steam wouldn't effect it as much. Perhaps that is a good idea. Anyway, today felt great. I did the Turbo Jam Cardio Party and the Ab Jam. I haven't done the cardio in a few weeks, so I surprised myself by keeping up and not dying on the living room floor. Yay me. Now, off to the shower! Until tomorrow....

Sneaky....

Yeah, yeah. I know that Saturday is supposed to be my "off" day, but I snuck in a short workout anyway! Just a small 20 minute Turbo Jam session. I did the modified, low-impact version so as not to overwork my muscles. I just felt like moving a bit! Funny, I used to be so lazy. I relished my "off" days. Now I am sneaking in small workouts. I have changed. It is a good feeling. Now I am craving a super salad! I had a nice breakfast (ok, it was actually lunch by the time I got up. gimmie a break, I work 2nd shift!) of whole wheat toast, a banana, and 2 clementines. Yum! I feel better when I eat better. Now to relax a bit with a hearty salad before scampering off to work. Monday is coming up soon. I will be weighing in and measuring. Wonder if I can get back to 253 by then? Until tomorrow....

Oh my darlin' clementine.....

I am enjoying my post-workout clementines! Yay! Who knew a little fruit could bring me such gratification? Wow. I am proud of me. So, today has been ok. I got up and did my adult duties (balancing budgets, grocery shopping) then I came home and worked out for an hour or so. I bought lots of healthy foods at the store this time. No more junk. I felt very good about the choices I made. Working out makes you want to eat healthy. The way I see it, if I am going to sweat my ass off doing a difficult workout, why would I shit all over it by downing junky crap food? All my hard work would be for naught. Screw that! If I am busting ass to get fit, I am NOT eating anything gross or unhealthy! No steps back for me, thank you. I am gearing up for Monday. I plan to resume my weigh and measure day. I did gain some while in my "chunky funk", so now I want to take it all off before Monday. I have about 6 or 7 more pounds to go. Let's see if I can make that happen. Well, that appears to be all I have to say for today. Off to the showers before work tonight. Until tomorrow....

Bipolar babe.....

Bipolar, you ask? Well, I am currently happy and  cranky. I just finished my workout (happy), but I am out of clementines (cranky)! Grrrrr! I will be sure to buy some tomorrow when I go shopping. Now all I have is a glass of water and no fruit. *sigh* Oh well. I should pay more attention to my fridge, no? Anyway, I learned that I need to cut my ab workouts down to every other day. I don't really want to do that, but overworking my abs is not a good idea. I was actually overdoing it (who, me?) and I was getting nauseated during the routine. I found out that is a sign of too much too soon. So, I am now doing ab work every other day. I suppose it is better to be safe than sorry, right? Other than that, not much is new. I feel pretty awesome lately. I have more energy. No more "chunky funk"; I'm a happy girl! Ok, I am semi-happy today. I want my clementines. Dammit. Ok, no more whining. I'll live. Now, to the showers!

Fruits of labor.....

My keyboard is a bit sticky. I am sitting here post-workout, blogging and munching on clementines. They are easy to peel, but I still make a mess. Oh well. They are honestly the BEST snack in the world! Especially after a hard workout. I am proud of me. I did another agonizing but rewarding hour of fitness today. I used to think I had no muscles. Now I know I do. They hurt so damn bad! But in a good way. I ate very well so far. I had a tofu sandwich earlier today, some clementines just now, and I am planning on some brown rice here in a bit. True, I haven't eaten much yet today, but I didn't get up and out until after 12 noon, then I had a 3 hour CPR renewal class, and after running errands I didn't get home and get to eat until after 6pm. Bad Kelly, I know! But I am eating now. I didn't intentionally skip, but shit happens. I will do better tomorrow. As for now, I need a shower and I want to relax a bit. I think I have earned it! I also may need to wipe down my keyboard....ewwww.......

Up and running....well.....walking briskly, anyway.....

Ok, I am back. Yes, I haven't blogged for a few days. I got slack. I admit it. I have been having somewhat of a personal crisis. See, I have a very long way to go before I am at my ideal weight. I want to be fit and healthy, but sometimes just knowing how long it is actually going to take can be very daunting. I totally lost my motivation for a while and I retreated into a depressive state. I felt like "what's the use?" every time I would attempt to workout. I was also slack on my eating, chowing down on unhealthy comfort foods. Yes, vegans have junk food too. I will be honest, no need to try and lie. I gained back 9 pounds in the last 2 weeks. Of course, some of that is water weight from that lovely time of the month, but still, I know some of it is fat. I may have let myself down, but I refuse to give up. I will not let life get in my way again. I have worked too hard to turn back now. Today, I found my motivation again. I worked out for an hour today! A whole hour! I had a light lunch (I didn't drag my ass out of bed until noon.) and now I am having a big bowl of brown rice. Yum! I feel alive once more. I feel healthy again. I actually want to feel good again, instead of getting mired down in a "chunky funk". That is my new term for depressed overeating: chunky funk. Feel free to use it, but give me credit, ok? Anyway, I am finally back on track and stronger than ever before. My head and heart are in the right place now. I can do this! Wow, I feel awesome today.

Old age strikes again.....wait.....what?

Ok, so I didn't blog today. Actually, the last couple days. I also totally spaced today and forgot that it is Monday! I didn't weigh or measure! My god, I am truly slipping. I plan to do those things tomorrow morning as soon as I get up. One day won't make that big a difference, right? *sigh* It seems lately as if the days just get away with me. I never really know what day it is anymore. Old age seems to be sneaking up on me. Maybe it is stress. I am currently employed part time, but I want full time. Everyday I fill out applications and search job listings for Rad tech positions. It has been 2 months to the day since I graduated. I know that isn't terribly long, but I had hoped to find something by now. With limited finances, it is difficult to maintain the healthy diet I crave. I mean, I eat healthy, but just not exactly what I would like to eat. If I had more money, I could afford all the ingredients for some of those vegan recipes I have found, or the tons of fruits and veggies I want, or the zillion healthy toppings for my salads. Instead, I am limited on what I can buy. I eat healthy, but with less diversity than I had hoped. A full time job would change all that. Also, I didn't workout today. I know Monday is my optional day, but I feel like I should have. I hate the guilt. I know skipping a day here and there is necessary, but I always feel bad for it. Oh well. I am just gloomy today. Pay me no mind. Hopefully tomorrow will be brighter. Until then....

What a wonderful feeling....

I have a good excuse for not blogging as much this week. I finally took my Radiography registry yesterday. Well of course I passed, who do you think you're talking to? Anyway, I was studying all week. It was worth it, though! I am now an official RT(R)! Now I can focus 100% on my life and my health! I am so excited! Anyway, I am still eating well and working out. I am starting to see real definition in my muscles. Who knew I even had muscles?! My gut is shrinking away and I can actually locate my hip bones while standing up. Haven't done that in....well...ever, really. My hubby has taken notice too. It encourages me to keep going when he comments on my figure. I mean, he has always loved me no matter what. It just makes a girl feel like a million bucks when her man is pleased with her figure. I love attention. I am a Libra, after all. I crave healthy food now. I tried to eat pizza the other day. I managed to consume 2 small slices, then I felt yucky. I remained yucky all day, and bloated. I used to be able to down entire pizzas. No lie. Gross, embarrassing, but true. Now I can barely stomach 2 slices. I am in love with salads and fruit. I like eating and not feeling bloated. Who would have thought I could fall out of love with pizza? *shocked* Well, I feel great and I need a shower. Just finished a workout. I feel like my life is on an upswing. Finally. I'm really happy about that. Until tomorrow....

The incredible shrinking woman.....

Today is measurement day! I got up first thing and grabbed my tape. I am pleased with what I saw.

My measurements for today.

I am still losing inches, and I feel so much stronger. This is kind of awesome. I know I have a lot more to say, but right now I can't think. Perhaps I will come back and edit this later. Toodles.

*EDIT* Ok, so after my workout I felt like blabbing just a bit longer. I did the Turbo Jam Ab Jam for the first time today, so tomorrow I will be pretty much immobile in my waist. I look forward to it. I have started mixing up my Turbo Jam routines, because quite frankly, doing the Cardio Party everyday was killing me. It is such a vigorous workout that my body couldn't heal enough to do it properly each day. So, now I do it every other day. I feel better that way. In between those days I do the Learn and Burn, or the 20 minute Jam, and everyday I plan to do the Ab Jam. I think I have finally found my groove. Also, my hubby is seeing my progress and is starting to come around to this whole eating healthy thing. Bonus! Ok, now I am truly done for the day. I am off to my trusty shower! Until tomorrow....

Still kicking.....

I didn't blog for a few days because my work schedule changed and I was too busy. I did, however, workout and eat right. Well, ok, I missed my workout on Friday because I overslept and couldn't fit it in before work. Other than that, I was a good girl. I am starting to notice a change in my shape. I can actually feel my hip bones again. I can't wait until tomorrow when I remeasure. I am certain I have lost some inches! I am doing better at my Turbo Jam workout. My next goal is to increase my endurance yet again, and to add the 18 minute ab workout to my 45 minute cardio workout. I just want to keep building. I started with 15 minutes a day, then 30, now 45. I am very proud of how far I have come in just a few weeks. Anyway...I had a lot to blab about when I started typing, but now I am drawing a blank. Also, I desperately need a shower. I fear Green Peace will bust down my door any second and issue me a citation for air pollution or some shit like that. I stink, but dammit I earned it! LOL. I am going to go wash. Until next time....

Even my hair hurts....

Oh. My. God. I think every muscle in my body is hurting. I did my cardio workout for the second day in a row. It feels good to feel the pain, though, because it means I used all my muscles today. Some I didn't even know existed until I woke up this morning and had to creatively get out of bed, seeing as my usual method of just sitting up was hindered by sore body parts. Oh well. It will be worth it. I like this workout so far, and I think the tons of sweating it evokes is healthy.
Aside from the soreness and satisfaction, tonight I will make my first attempt with baked tofu. I have had tofu before, in eggless egg salad, and possibly one or two store bought meals. Now I want to try it sliced, marinated, and baked. I hope it will taste as good as it appears in my mind. We shall see. I have to keep the vegan thing interesting so I don't resort to junk like chips and bread all the time.
Anywho, I feel great. I am keeping on track with my exercise and eating. I feel good. I am losing weight and getting stronger. So awesome. Even if I am covered in sweat. Normally, fat chicks only get this way climbing stairs or trying on jeans. I did it with a workout. Nice. Until next time....

Cardio party.....

I am drenched in sweat. I stink to high heaven. I feel like a million bucks! I just did a 45 minute intense cardio workout! I finally worked my way up from walking and doing basic shit to burning tons of calories and sweating like a pig. My endurance isn't top notch yet, but I held my own and I didn't collapse in a heap on the living room floor, so that is a plus. I am doing the Turbo Jam series. Today I decided on Cardio Party, (<----click that for link) which is 45 minutes of using muscles I didn't even know existed. I am sore already, so tomorrow will surely be hell. It was totally worth it, though. I love Turbo Jam stuff. The vibe is right up my alley and the energy is just amazing. A workout like that makes you feel alive. Sounds cliche' I know, but it is the truth. I am still eating well, although I have been indulging a bit on my vegan hot dogs lately. They are not unhealthy per se, but they are a bit high in sodium. Oh well. I am still losing weight so no biggie. And now I feel like I have a workout that I truly love. That makes a world of difference. Now, I am badly in need of a shower. The wallpaper is beginning to wilt. Until tomorrow....

Monday, Monday.....

Here it is again: Measurement Monday. I was busy the last few days due to my hubby's birthday, hence the lack of posts. Anyway, I am going to post my latest measurements. Not as big a drop as last time, but still losing inches. That is what matters. I really don't have a lot to say today. I must admit I feel kind of "blah". Not sure why. Anyway, here is the link for my progress:

My Measurements


There you have it. Let's see how far I can get by next Monday. Until then....

A quickie....

Pressed for time today, and feeling a little yucky. I did my workout, but with no weights. About to dash off to work for a few hours. Ready for this day to be over! Tomorrow is going to be better. I know it. Until then....

Blah blah blah.....

 I feel very blah today. Part of that is most likely my couch surfing last night. My hubby was snoring unbearably, so I decided to sleep on the couch. My use of the term "sleep" proves my optimism. So, after a not-so-restful night, I obviously dozed off from pure exhaustion sometime this morning and didn't wake until about 2pm. Great. Whole day gone. I have to work tonight, so I had to hurry and squeeze in some grub and a workout. Now I have just enough time to gulp a glass of water, blog, shower, and go. I hate being rushed. But at least I still worked out. I am a trooper! I weighed. I am now at 253 and steadily descending. Awesome. Just wish there was a fast forward button for this shit. Oh well. Got to go. Until tomorrow...

OMG I feel so awesome....

Just accomplished another great workout! I took yesterday off to let my body heal a bit. I didn't want to, but I have been advised that I should take at least one day off a week. So, from now on Measurement Day will also be my off day. Anywho, I learned a pretty good lesson today. Always eat something before your workout. Maybe not directly before (unless regurgitation motivates you), but sometime before so you have energy. I have heard that but I never gave it much thought until today. I haven't eaten at all yet (been busy) and 10 minutes into my workout I felt so drained. I finished it, but with great effort. It wasn't weakness or lack of endurance; on that front I am the best I have been in a while. It was almost like being out of fuel. Kind of like a car with no gas, putting along up a hill or something. My body was screaming, "You stupid bitch! I need a little fuel first! Some carbs at least! Damn!" Ok, I hear ya. Loud and clear. Note to self: fuel body before workout. Ironically, I put gas in my car on my way home to work out. Right concept, wrong vehicle. LOL. Well, lesson learned. I survived. Next time I eat first. Now, I believe I hear my couch calling me......

Measuring up (or DOWN, actually).......

Ok, today is the day! I took my measurements a week ago. (yes, they do make tape that long.) Now I have remeasured and the results are in! Check it out:

My measurements thus far....

I lost inches all over, and I made it to 254 like I said I would! Ok, so my calf actually grew an inch. Weird. I guess all that walking did it. Oh well. Muscle is always better than fat. I feel so happy right now. I actually see my progress. It is real. I am getting in shape, slowly but surely. Last night I dreamed about the thin me. Damn, I looked good! I can't wait to actually be there. *impatient*

Until tomorrow...

Full steam ahead....

I took another step towards my goal today. I used the strength training weights for my entire workout, not just the first half. I must admit to being highly impressed with myself. I wasn't sure I could do it. Now I have such a feeling of accomplishment! I am still at 255, but I know the number will drop tomorrow! It has to. I have adjusted better to my new way of eating. I crave healthy food and I am keeping my calorie count low. I try to work off at least half of my daily calorie intake. I am building my endurance so I can increase my workouts as well. I would like to eventually be up to an hour or two daily. Right now I am only at half an hour, but it is just my first week back on track. I will improve. Tomorrow is going to be a big day. Last week I took my measurements and I plan to track them weekly. I remeasure tomorrow. I can't wait to see if I have lost any inches anywhere! I definitely have in my waist. I will post them tomorrow so everyone can see how I am doing. I feel like a fire has been lit inside me. I feel more motivated than I ever have before. My dream is going to become a reality. Just watch me.

Numbers keep dropping.....

Just climbed on the scale. I am now 255. I was like "WTF?!" with excitement and shock. That means I have lost 8 pounds in less than a week! I'm not complaining, either. This is so awesome. I am about to work out. I may skip the weights today to let my arm muscles heal a bit. Not sure yet. I want to get as much as I can from my workouts, but I know it isn't wise to push myself. If I had it my way, I would be on a treadmill pretty much all day, then hop off to do my workout, then hop back on. I know that sounds nuts, but I just wish I could speed things up and get this weight off me! I want to be thin again so badly. Healthy thin, not waif thin. Listen to me, so impatient! It has been less than one week, not several weeks. I know, I know. I need to chill and just keep working. *sigh* Ok, I suppose I have no choice. I am going to go change clothes and workout now. Then I am going to settle down for an early dinner and a movie. Alone. Hubby is working late. Looking forward to my movie, though. Until tomorrow....


*UPDATE* Well, I used the weights afterall. You know me, can't back down. Oh well.

"Waisting" away.....again....

Hot damn! I am down 5 whole pounds in less than a week! I was 263 when I decided to get back on track, and I am now 258. I am eating right and working out. Who knew sweating could feel so good? (don't get dirty minded on me, now. let's keep it clean. jeeze.) I haven't felt this good in quite some time. It is awesome. I am awesome! Loving it!

Oh, I almost forgot about that Mexican dip recipe. It's easy and it's wallet friendly. You get a large sauce pan or skillet, toss in a can of fat free refried beans (.79), a can of black beans (.92), a few tablespoons of (vegan) sour cream (2.50), a can of red enchilada sauce (1.00 - Old Elpaso is best in my opinion), one bag of Success brown rice, cooked (.50 each, since a box of 4 bags is 2.00), and 2 cups of (vegan) cheddar cheese (2.50 for real cheese, 5.50 for vegan Daiya). The cheese can be optional if it costs too much, and the dip will still taste great without it. You cook the mix on medium heat until warm and gooey, then it is ready to serve. So, do the math. For non-vegans it costs about $8, and for vegans it costs about $10 (damn the high price of vegan cheese!) But either way, you spend around $10 for something good and filling, and it will last longer than some god awful bean burrito thrown together by some kid who doesn't wash his hands. So next time, skip the Toxic Bell and make your own Mexican meal. You'll know what's in it, and you will get more out of it.

Ok, that is it for me today. I am going to reward myself. Not with food, like I used to, but with a comfy couch and a good movie. And maybe a nap. Toodles!

Feeling renewed....

 I feel pretty awesome right now. I just finished a 30 minute workout which included power walking 2 miles and doing strength training on my upper body with weights. I am so sore but so happy. I have dropped 3 pounds in the last 2 days, and according to my new favorite site, Health E Human, I just burned about 450 calories. Not too shabby. It is harder for fat people to burn calories. All those articles you read about workouts that show how to burn 300 calories an hour just vacuuming (please!) are based on women who are about 5ft2 and 125 pounds. Seriously. Chicks my size need a lot more effort to slim down, or else I would just clean all damn day and be satisifed. I am eating healthy again. No vegan junk. Lots of veggies and brown rice. To be honest, brown rice has become the staple of my diet. No sodium, low carbs and fat, and you can flavor it up so many different ways. Me likey! I am happy to be back on my workout, too. It is hard to get going, but afterwards I feel so amazing, and it makes me feel like my hard work is paying off. What a great feeling! By the way, I am proud of myself. Last night at work I went to Subway to pick up a coworker's dinner. She offered to buy me a sub since I went. I politely declined. Now, I never have turned down Subway....but I thought about it and the only thing I eat from there is the Veggie Delight. Since I am a tad picky (who, me?) I usually just get spinach, carrots, pickles (ok, LOTS of pickles), cucumbers, honey mustard, and pepper. So, I thought why wreck my hard work for a slab of starchy bread with only 3 sparsely applied veggies, salty pickles, and honey mustard with who knows how many calories in it? When you break it down like that, it hardly seems appealing. I just stuck with my brown rice and veggies. I was truly happier that way. I suggest my break down method to everybody. If you feel like eating fast food or junk, break it down and think about what is really in there. What are you really getting? Could you make it better or healthier on your own? For example, let's say you crave the old trusty bean burrito from Taco Hell (that's what I call it. or Toxic Bell.) I know from experience that it tastes pretty awesome slathered in that mild sauce. But what are you really eating? A huge tortilla made of refined (UNHEALTHY) white flour, a HUGE glob of re fried beans, less than a handful of a cheese blend, less than a handful of onions (though I always got mine without. onions are gross.), and that is pretty much it. Doesn't sound like a good choice, does it? Besides, if you have ever watched them actually make your order at Taco Hell, you wouldn't eat there anymore. Trust me. So, break down your food. Think about what you're getting, for what cost, and what you are actually putting into your body. FYI: for less than $10 you can make a vegan Mexican dip and fill some healthy tortillas with it for a wonderful, tasty meal. It makes enough to feed 4 people with some left over for next day's lunch, and it is way better than anything at the Border. Maybe I will post the recipe tomorrow. It is simple and yummy. Now, I am off to gulp water and devour a banana. Ta.

A different path awaits....

 I've had an epiphany of sorts. I can't really explain it. I just feel differently about so many things today. I honestly feel like an entirely different person. I have a new perspective, if you will. Perhaps this will induce weight loss and good health. We shall see. Maybe I have just hit a wall and maybe I am just fed up with being so static. I crave change. I crave results. It might get a bit dark, but this is where I am meant to be. This is my path now. I feel a great change on the horizon. Ok, enough melodrama. Suffice it to say I am on my way to my goals. For real now. Until next time....

Keeping my head up....

I am up way too early. I blame my husband. He had to work this morning, so the alarm woke us both. LOL. Kidding, I love him and being up early isn't so bad. Anyway, I have been diligently keeping track of my food intake with that site I mentioned yesterday. Health E Human is the link and I love it. They can keep track of all sorts of things. Great for lazy people like myself. If you keep track of what you eat, you will be surprised at how many calories sneak in under your radar. I was. Those little nibbles and snacks add up. It feels good to hold myself accountable. I am also doing a lot of research on tofu recipes. I am determined to find enough good ones at a cheap cost so that I can get out of the vegan rut. What is that, you ask? Well, a lot of vegans tend to get stuck eating the same old same old; veggies and beans, chick'n patties, bread, etc. Tofu offers some more variety. I found an awesome baked tofu recipe I can't wait to try. I would love to have a tofu press, but damn those things are pricey! I will just stick with my napkins, plates, and heavy books for now. (if you have to ask, just google "tofu pressing" and this ghetto method should pop up somewhere.) I am also looking into more varied exercise routines, so I don't get bored. One step at a time. I will make this a reality. My daily goal is to eat well and be healthy. My short term goal is to drop 10% of my body weight. My first major goal is to lose about 50-60 lbs by December 31 of this year. I am looking forward to the challenge....

The uphill struggle...

I am still having a tough time getting on track these days. Due to budget restraints, I can't go out and buy a shitload of healthy food. We kind of have to stick to what is more affordable, and that often means not healthy. I hate this. I am ready to change and finances won't allow it. People may think veggies and fruit and tofu is cheap. Well, when you have to buy other ingredients to make different dishes it adds up. Also, fruit and veggies go bad rather quickly, so you end up having to buy more and more. Right now I need to buy food that can last. I hate being poor. Hopefully soon that will change. On a lighter note, I found a cool site called Health-e-Human that helps track all sorts of things, from BMI to measurements to food logs. It is pretty neat and very helpful. I highly recommend it. I feel like posting my measurements again, but maybe not today. I don't have enough esteem going to do that just yet. I really wish I could get a grip on this weight thing. *sigh* Until next time....

Busy, busy bee.....

Ok, shit blogger that I am....I have been busy lately and have not kept a good record of my progress. Well, I wouldn't call it progress. I am still at that lovely plateau. Nothing gained, nothing lost. So ready to see those scale numbers start dropping once again. Oh well. On another note, I have started wearing makeup again. (I can hear Christa's excited squealies as I type this) Apparently, school took such a toll on me that I gave up make up completely. For the last 3 years, I bet I only wore it on maybe 4 occasions. I have begun to try and wear it daily. Not full-on, Tammy Faye shit; just base, gloss, eyeliner, and mascara. I forgot how awesome my eyes are! Such a deep green! I have gotten a lot of compliments, and I notice that people treat me differently when I look pretty. I know that sounds lame, but it is true. People talk to me more, notice me, hell they even flirt with me. Fat or not, I have a pretty face! So I plan to get back on the make-up train. Who knows, maybe the self esteem boost will help with my weight loss? We shall see. So, until next time....

Down with the sickness....

No, I'm not dead. I just got knocked on my ass for a week or so thanks to my hubby's lovely cold that he decided to share with me. I felt like death warmed over, so exercise and eating were a no go. On the plus side, being sick is a great weight loss aid, but I don't recommend it for long term use. Anyway, now I feel almost 100%, but he currently has a stomach bug. Great. I bet I end up with that, too. Ah, the joys of marriage. So hopefully, I will return soon with inspiring news of workouts and pounds lost. Until then, it is the couch and Netflix for me. Toodles.

Holy veggies, Batman!

OK, so I am fresh off a workout, dripping with sweat and pride, and guzzling water like it is going out of style. How are you? I am currently still 7 pounds down. Haven't gained but haven't lost. Plateaus will happen. I am OK with it. The weight will start dropping again soon. Speaking of weight, I want to share with you just how awesome vegan food can be. Yesterday my cousin invited us over to cook out with his new grill. Of course, he and my hubby had real meat burgers loaded with manly slop. I took my vegan substitutes. I was starving, having not eaten anything all day. I ate like a pig! I had 2 vegan burgers with ketchup, pickles, and vegan cheddar cheese, and 3 vegan hot dogs with vegan cheddar cheese and mustard, plus a plate of seasoned fries. I totally gorged myself, and it was so tasty! Now here is the kicker: I weighed this morning and did not gain a single pound! The vegan food I had is packed with soy and fiber, so it went right through and did not deposit onto my hips! How awesome is that? Now you know if I had eaten that much in meat I would have gained a pound or two. But I gained nothing. I ate a ton of vegan deliciousness and I gained zero weight! Of course, I don't recommend binge eating like that hardly ever, but it is a holiday weekend and I wanted to have fun and be careless with my diet. I still can't get over how much I ate. It was so good! Now I plan to go relax and read a little bit. My new goal is to be down another 5 pounds by next Saturday. Let's see if I can do it....

Not dead yet....

I'm still at it. I just haven't blogged for a few days. What can I say? I got lazy. Sue me. I am still going strong on the vegan thing and the weight loss. I managed not to gain any weight at all during my lovely "time-of-the-month", which is amazing. Usually I just give in and binge, but not this time. A small victory. I am currently seeking a vegan meet up group for support, but seeing as I live in BFE there is only one near here and it is a bit too religion-based for me. *sigh* I suppose I am at the mercy of message boards for now. I could start my own group, but I am so not a trail blazer. I like to travel a path that has already been cleared. I do not delight in waving my machete of purpose through the bramble so that others may pass. Screw that. Beaten path, please. Maybe I am lazy. Oh well. It works for me. Anywho, I am still here, still vegan, still happy. Just a bit lazy and in need of support. Toodles.

Back in the saddle....

Well, yesterday was nice but today I was ready to get back to getting fit. I am so proud of myself. I have started a walking workout that you do at home. Each part equals 1 mile. So far I had been doing a mile a day. Well, today I did both parts! That's 2 whole miles! Hey, it may not seem like much, but hell, I get winded just walking to my car! Fat girl did 2 miles without collapsing! (OMG my butt muscles are so sore!) <--TMI Anywho....I am now down 7 pounds in my first week. Not too shabby. Oh, and I feel compelled to tell you what an awesome dinner I had last night. Vegan chicken patties on a whole wheat bun with vegan cheddar cheese, honey mustard sauce, pickles, and seasoning to die for. It was so amazing, and every bit was totally vegan! Screw the naysayers who think we vegans live off tofu and sprouts. Fat girl likes her food to taste good. I love my food. How do you think I got fat in the first place? Now I can be healthy, lose weight, and still eat tasty meals and snacks. (such as my aforementioned hellacious salads) So, now that I am all sweaty and gross, I am going to go chug some cold water (and make Christa proud of me) then grab a shower and relax. I am loving my life right now! Toodles....

Time out....

I decided today would be my "off" day. Not that I am eating junk, just that I am not working out and I plan to take it easy. Ok, so I have yet to eat any fruit or veggies, but the day isn't over. I slept in, then had a vegan mini pizza for lunch. Now I am looking forward to dinner. I promise to include a salad! I didn't work out because A) my muscles need a day to recoup and B) I am having insanely excruciating menstrual cramps. True, exercise usually helps but not today. Lying comfortably on my couch with a good movie is helping a lot. So being that I am somewhat incapacitated today, I figured it was a good choice for my "off" day. Once a week I will have a day to not exercise and just relax. I will still eat right, though. That won't change. Ok, so there you have it. My day in a nutshell. Now, if you'll excuse me, my couch is calling....

I feel mahvalous! Simply mahvalous!

I just finished my daily workout and I feel great! I also learned that I make some pretty hellacious salads. Tasty is an understatement. I feel so happy in my lovely little vegan world! The pounds are melting away and I have so much energy! I now enjoy my food without cheese or added salt. (now if i could just get the hubby to quit eating McDonald's awful "frankenfood"...yuck...) Get this: I came home from work last night a whole pound lighter than when I left! I feel like I am dropping weight without even trying. Awesomesauce. I am looking forward to workouts again. I have energy. I feel good. This is so wonderful! I have missed being able to be myself and be healthy. I was so busy with school that I let my health fall to the wayside. I felt terrible everyday. I must have always felt that way eating like I did for so many years, but I just didn't know it because it became normal. I can't imagine ever going back to that. I want to be fit. I enjoyed my workout so much. True, I was hurting halfway through, but I didn't hurt as much as yesterday, and tomorrow will hurt even less. Soon I will be unstoppable! I mean, if it weren't for physics and law enforcement....oh well.....

Vegan with a vengeance....

I am back, I am vegan, and I am ready to roll! Since my last post, I have FINALLY completed my degree (yay!) and I am now free from the hectic schedule of student life. I can now focus on giving up cheese for good and getting back to being a true vegan! Let me tell you, cheese did a number on my system. Just by eating dairy products again, I went from 242 to 264 lbs in only 2 months! Dammit Janet! There is so much yucky stuff in cheese, it is unbelievable. I am now back on track and in just 4 days I am down 6 lbs already! I feel better, I worked out today (for the first time in months. i am so lame.) and I am in a pretty great mood. Consider me a very happy Libra! As for the workout, all I can say is GOOD LORD I AM OUT OF SHAPE. I didn't realize how badly my muscles had atrophied until I started moving. It is really pathetic! I mean, I used to be atheletic! I used to run circles around people in softball, and I could dance my ass off at national competitions! Today I did a beginners "walk at home" workout that seemed to be set at almost a geriatric pace. I almost didn't make it to the end. Seriously. I know I have a long way to go, but I am finally ON my way and that is a big step! There is a skinny me in here somewhere....

Weakened, but not shamed....

Ok...I will just up and admit it: I eat cheese. Yes, I am weak. I was vegan. Now I am just vegetarian. I still do not consume any other dairy, but cheese was a weakness. True, there are vegan brands, but I live in a pretty backwards country area, so I had to drive an hour one way just to get the good vegan cheese. I can't afford to buy it online. So, I decided that until I am financially or locationally able to obtain vegan cheese, I will just eat the real stuff. So one day, I will again be 100% vegan. Until then, why deprive myself? I have enough stress. So, I will eat cheese. There. I said it. And when I feel I have more to say, (which will hopefully be very soon) I will be back. Until then....

Gone for a while, but not forever....

I haven't blogged in so long. School took over my life throughout November and December. I am back now, and in my final semester. (Yay!) I am still vegan, but my weight loss has stalled due to being so busy. I fell into the rut of eating vegan junk food more often than I should have out of sheer convenience. But today is a new day. I am cutting down on sodium again, and trying to steer clear of breads and starchy foods and junk. I had brown rice with vegetable broth, broccoli, and salt substitute for lunch. I will try to have veggies and rice for dinner, too. I want to get healthy again and cleanse my system. I am listing my measurements so I can be held accountable.

Weight: 246
Waist: 45.75in
Chest: 49in
Butt/Hips: 49.5in
Thighs: 30.5in
Neck: 15.25in
Arms: 15in

Let's hope these numbers start to decrease really soon!